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It’s Complicated (The Facebook Status, Not The Movie)
Some people are in relationships that contain a fair amount of gray area. They fight, they break up, they make up, they get back together, only to repeat the exact sequence a week later. They’re confused, they’re clouded by hormones and emotions, and of course, hormotions, which are hormonal emotions.
These couples argue loudly at gatherings, speak in muted, hushed tones to each other at dinner parties, get into screaming matches on the front porch, throw wine glasses at each other, and eventually end up boning in an upstairs bathroom. These relationships are anything but easy, far from normal, and fairly hard to succinctly explain.
Relationships like this are sprawling, unending, and often baffling, like a mobius strip. Those who are in them are often times not exceptionally happy, at least not all the time. They’re frustrated and often unsatisfied, albeit between bouts of makeup sex-related elation.
However, temporary happiness aside, do these couples really want to broadcast that information to the world? I know it’s ridiculous to even talk about Facebook like it’s in any way a reflection of real life, but some people generally DO try to represent their true selves online. I mostly see people use the “It’s Complicated” relationship status as a joke. It’s Complicated with their bffff(f), It’s Complicated with their roommate, gay best friend, etc. I even know someone who went to the trouble of setting up a second account so his status read “It’s Complicated With My Hands,” and clicking on “My Hands” linked to a profile of his hands. That’s… dedication?
For those looking to let people on the internet know how great they are, there are many ways to display your accomplishments and impeccable taste on your Facebook profile. Look at me! I’ve read Infinite Jest, and it’s one of my FAVORITE books! I volunteer at FOUR soup kitchens! I only like PRE-Transatlanticism Death Cab! I can copy and paste poetry into the quote section! I work at Red Lobster! So, with all these other chances to brag, what’s the need to describe the details of your weird relationship? I can’t think of any reason someone would want to take the words “It’s Complicated” to announce:
“Hey, I’m sort of seeing someone but I cheated on her and then begged her to take me back and she did but now we’re not technically saying we’re ‘together’ it’s just this in between phase because she says she can’t really trust me anymore but maybe it’ll work out if I can keep my dick in my pants long enough.”
Ladies, where’s the allure in intimating:
“So, I was dating this great guy and then I went to Europe to sort of find myself and backpack and do shrooms and one day I fell off my road bike in Rotterdam, and this really great guy came running out of a coffee shop and he cleaned off my knee and bandaged it and took me inside and bought me a muffin and I was so grateful (and also high) that I ended up giving him a hummer in the backroom and now my boyfriend is all ‘well if you love Werner so much maybe you should stay in Europe and now I’m all AHHH what if I SHOULD stay here?”
Maybe it’s a willingness to overshare with anyone and everyone who might Google you, but I’m pretty sure it’s just their way of saying “yeah, I might not have a ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’ PER SE, but at least I’m getting laid.”
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Seriously, the only time that I put this was ironically. Then, when the guy I was supposed to be “complicated” with ACTUALLY became “complicated” with this horse-loving wannabe country girl, (I say ‘wannabe’ because she’s from Seattle, not Nashville) that he met at bartending school; I realize just how lame he actually was. It wasn’t even ironic. For shame!
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whomsicott reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
I always thought “It’s Complicated” was a key word for, “I’m in a bad/unhealthy relationship that’s not working out/has...
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lamorticia reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
——— Seriously, the only time that I put this was ironically. Then, when the guy I was supposed to be “complicated” with...
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Okay so guys, I hate people. Hate ‘em. But I love whoever wrote this. …Omgah. That was possibly the funniest, and most...
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FUCK MY LIFEEEEEEE.
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vedhead reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
One of the best dealbreakers I’ve seen lately!
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